Breaking Barriers: Applying to College as a First-Generation Student

A heart-to-heart guide to navigating the unknown with courage, culture, and community.

If you’re the first in your family to apply to college, you already know — this journey feels different.It’s exciting, yes, but also full of questions, pressure, and sometimes a quiet kind of loneliness that can creep in when you’re doing something no one else around you has done before.

Maybe you’re figuring out FAFSA forms on your own, maybe you’re explaining to your parents what a “Common App” is, or maybe you’re torn between chasing your dreams and not wanting to leave your family behind. If that sounds familiar, you are not alone — and this blog is for you.

As a clinician (and a first-generation student myself), I know this process isn’t just about essays and deadlines. It’s about identity, belonging, and learning to give yourself permission to dream big — even when it feels uncomfortable.

Let’s talk about what makes applying to college as a first-generation student unique, and how to make the process feel just a little bit lighter.

 1. The College Application Process Looks Different Now

When our parents were our age, most of them didn’t have the same access or opportunities we do now — many were focused on surviving, working, and caring for family. So, it makes sense that for first-gen students, the college application process can feel like foreign territory.

Today, the world of college admissions has changed. Working part-time jobs is now considered an important extracurricular. The hours you spend helping at home, caring for siblings, or managing family responsibilities matter.

So many students don’t realize that their life experience counts as valuable leadership and time management experience. The Common App, for example, allows students to include jobs and family responsibilities in the activities section. These are not “gaps” — they’re demonstrations of maturity, responsibility, and resilience.

Think of it this way: You’ve already been balancing school, home life, and work. You’ve been building life skills that most adults struggle to juggle. That’s something to be proud of.

 2. “I Didn’t Know What I Didn’t Know”

If you’re nodding your head right now, you’re not alone. Many first-gen students describe the process as “trial by fire.” You don’t know what questions to ask because you’ve never seen anyone do it before. Maybe you’re leaning on older siblings, cousins, or friends who figured it out ahead of you — that’s a great start.

But let’s be honest — it’s nerve-wracking. Between essays, deadlines, financial aid, and transcripts, your brain can start to feel overloaded. And when you add in cultural pressures — like feeling responsible for family, translating documents, or helping with bills — it can feel almost impossible to focus on yourself.

For many first-gen students, this isn’t just about going to college. It’s about learning to set boundaries, sometimes for the very first time. It’s about balancing that deep love and loyalty you feel for your family with your own right to grow and explore.

 3. The Invisible Pressure: “We Before Me”

In many cultures — especially in Latino, Asian, and immigrant households — the idea of “we” comes before “me.” Family comes first. Always.

That sense of collective identity is beautiful, but it can also make applying to college complicated. Maybe you feel guilty about leaving home, especially if you’ve taken on caretaking roles for younger siblings or elders. Maybe you feel pressure to choose a college close by or to pick a “practical” major that your parents approve of.

These feelings are real. And they deserve to be acknowledged.

Here’s what I want you to know: going to college doesn’t mean leaving your family behind. It means expanding what your family’s story can become. You are part of their dream too — even if they don’t always have the words to say it.

 4. Reframing “First-Gen” as a Superpower

Many first-generation students grow up thinking being “first” means being behind. The truth? It’s the opposite.

Being first-generation means you’ve developed resilience, adaptability, and courage. You’ve learned how to figure things out on your own. You’ve navigated systems not built for you — and you’re still showing up.

These are not weaknesses; they are strengths. Colleges are recognizing this now more than ever. Many even have specific support systems, mentorship programs, translated materials and scholarships for first-generation students.

Some great resources include:

• I’m First! – An online community that features inspiring stories, college resources, and peer advice from other first-gen students.

• Rise First – A website with over 1,200 scholarships, mentorships, and tools curated for first-generation and low-income students.

• Center for First-Generation Student Success – A comprehensive resource for students and parents offering support on tuition, peer programs, and navigating the college transition.

If you’re applying soon, take time to explore these. You’ll be surprised how much support is already out there — you just must know where to look.

 5. Don’t Forget About Your Parents

Many first-gen students face another challenge: helping parents understand the process. Maybe they don’t speak English fluently or didn’t have access to higher education themselves.

That’s why parent education is key. Some colleges and community organizations are now offering parent information sessions, bilingual orientations, and online resources to help families feel more involved and empowered. 

If you’re a parent reading this, know that your encouragement matters more than you realize. Even if the system feels unfamiliar, showing interest and pride in your child’s effort can make all the difference.

And if you’re a student, try to include your parents when you can — explain what you’re doing, show them acceptance letters, and celebrate small wins together. Education is a family journey, even when it starts with you.

 6. Taking Care of Your Mental Health During the Process

Let’s be honest — applying to college is stressful for anyone, but for first-gen students, the mental load is often doubled. Between financial stress, self-doubt, and family expectations, burnout can happen fast.

A few reminders for your mental health:

• Take breaks. You do not have to write your essays in one sitting.

• Find your people. Whether that’s a teacher, counselor, or therapist, surround yourself with folks who support your growth.

• Practice mindfulness. Even a few deep breaths between tasks can calm your body and clear your thoughts.

• Ask for help. You’re not expected to know everything. That’s why resources exist.

Remember: success doesn’t mean doing it all alone — it means learning when to reach out.

 Final Thoughts: You’re Not Just Applying to College — You’re Building a Legacy

If no one has told you yet: being first-generation is something to be proud of. You are the bridge between what was and what’s possible. You are carrying your family’s dreams while paving your own path.

Yes, it’s scary. Yes, it’s uncertain. But it’s also incredibly powerful.

So, take a deep breath. You belong in those classrooms. You belong in those spaces. You’re not just the first — you’re the beginning of something greater.

And that? That’s worth celebrating.